You had forget-me-nots
Blooming from a hole in your throat as you spoke
And i was mesmerized,
Surprised by the early presence of purple
On the spring's landscape.
And me, without my shears, as you posed your question.
I listened, my hands shook.
I wanted so badly to give in
To support your frame again, again, just one more time.
To give you what you want, because I care about what that is.
For some reason.
But my shoulders grow weaker by the day,
the slope from nape to joint more pronounced.
Collarbones peek through, neck tendons
a physical manifestation of the clenching that comes with tears.
So I said no no no
As I swung from a lamppost on a corner
Your sound: indignant, surprised.
A bus roared by and I made myself hang up.
I want to run from this town-
Leave you in the dust for once-
Go somewhere where you can't reuse meaning, because you won't know mine anymore.
Go somewhere where I hope for chance that isn't tied up in you
And your fucking beautiful shoulders
Your sad eyes
Your wheat germ skin,
and your grip on my heart.
Every streetlight I tried to shoot out that night
With my new slingshot
Was an attempt to extinguish this burning in the middle of me
But the glass is so strong on those damn things
So I snuck into someone's backyard
With a man who has the same name as you
And we kissed in the mulch, the smell of spring filling my nose
As we giggled and rolled, spitting out pieces of earth
And when I said goodnight to him, it was two birds, one stone.
"And I'm with another man, he's asleep I'm wide awake. And he tries to win my heart but it's taken....time."